Self-care is a myth. The real self-care I need is at least 100k. At least. I'm stressed. To quote Twitter users, this month dey gba. This Sunday's routine involves ignoring all my social media and watching The Scorch Trials.

This podcast episode is sponsored by the RealHousewives of Pankere, a group of Vaga, Vagabonds.

The group chat's name is currently 'RealHousewives of Pankere', no I don't know how that name came about but we've stuck to it so I guess that's it for now.

This newsletter topic came from a conversation we were having this morning; is there a manual for life? The conversation is a lot more complicated than this but this was the crux.

This life thing feels like being at sea, holding on to a piece of driftwood and then you see someone rev past you in a speedboat. Or to put it in the way Rara Esq said it, "It feels like people are 10 yards into the marathon and I'm still tying my shoes."

One of the most outstanding I'm grateful I realised early is that two things can be true at a time. I can be really happy for my friends and the people that I love that they're winning, and I can also be incredibly sad and frustrated with myself. Two things can be true. I can multitask emotions.

I know that there's no manual to living life, that everyone is just winging it and doing the best they can, but what you know and what you feel are two things, and they can be two different things.

If everyone is winging it, then no one is winging it, because that's the manual, the life rule; just wing it. It's not the knowing that's the issue, it's the applying it. If there is a manual, please pass it to me, because I didn't get the memo and I would very much like the manual.

How do you navigate the roads when there's no map? Shey you go just dey drive like that dey go? What I'm using to console myself is I know where I want to be, so how I get there is really up to me. (Bars, Eminem should come out let's tussle.)

This week's Litverse was pretty fun to write. Ella has been my friend for years, 4 years in fact. We went from being friends to her being one of the people I look up to the most. For a lot of the people I know who are writers, family reactions range from mildly supportive to downright antagonistic. It's different for Ella, her mom's a writer and by extension, her biggest supporter. I like it.

49th Litverse: Emmanuella, the generational writer balancing romance with mythology. | The49thStreet — the49thstreet.com

When a parent is a nonfiction writer, getting into the writing world isn't as hard as it would be if you were the first writer in the family. For

On Life.

I got a cat!!!

I'd been praying for a cat for months, and I had given up on ever getting one but I did! My neighbour's kid is scared of cats so they were giving away the cat they had taken in and because I have a bleeding heart, I took him in. His name's Megumi (spoiler; I'm really not sure whether Megumi is a boy or a girl and that's why I chose that name. Megumi is a traditional Japanese female name but Megumi Fushiguro in JJK is a boy so it's a win-win for me.)

Having a pet has been a learning curve for me. As a firstborn, I thought I already knew how to take care of children but Megumi is teaching me things I didn't remember. He's also teaching me to relax - there's not much you can do when a cat is curled up in your lap and asking you to pet him. For someone who needs to be slowing down a lot, this was probably a great idea.

September is about to end and we're entering the last quarter of the year. I'm scared. Terrified even. Am I going to go back to the goals I wrote at the beginning of the year and see that I didn't even reach half?

On Books.

Last week was weird for me but I have been reading A Parent Apparent, it's fanfic with the main trope being #Irondad. I read a lot of Avengers as found family fan fiction and yes, I know they were just coworkers but you shall not stop me from believing that they were best buddies who loved each other.

I have also been reading The School for Good and Evil because my partner said he liked it and yes, I am that much of a simp.

On Music.

I come to preach the gospel of J-Hope. You really need to listen to his new feature with Crush.

Crush (크러쉬) - 'Rush Hour (Feat. j-hope of BTS)' MV — www.youtube.com

Crush (크러쉬) - 'Rush Hour (Feat. j-hope of BTS)' MVMV Executive Producer: P NATIONMV Director: Bangjaeyeob @bangjaeyeobfilmComposed by Crush, Sojin HongLyrics...

Lemonade.

I look forward to this section the most, because who no dey find how to make lemonade from life's lemons? If you read my last newsletter, I mentioned that I was doing publicity for an event in Abuja. It actually ended up going great despite all the things that decided to go wrong. I'm so happy.

The most surprising but heartwarming thing that happened this week was my sister defending me. It's nice to be taken care of occasionally.