Your newsletter is pink because you have a new sheriff in town, and she does her things a lot differently. 

Hi, my name is Itohan. You may not know me of me, but I sure as hell know you. Which means I have one newsletter to win you over to my side. There's no official race or prize for “Best Guest ILL Newsletter Writer 2023”, but that doesn't mean I can't want to win it. Exactly. So while I write to you, I'll include fun facts about me so we can really connect on a spiritual level. You'll love me. Who doesn't? 

They'll all be in parentheses “(...)” so they're easy to spot. Once again, welcome. Let's get into it, shall we?

Regularly Scheduled Programming

I don't think I know what regular scheduled programming from me to you would look like. My current programming is “default” settings. I got my phone stolen (first time entering one chance), and it felt like my world has spun in on itself. My brain started rebooting again. Right now it's like I'm forcing myself to learn new things about my life again. Things I had made accommodations for are things I have to learn anew. I'm stressed. In my parent's house, I had a favorite space to work because the MTN network I used there was great. Here, in a new area, using Airtel, I have to find a new favorite place to work. 

There are so many times this year when I have had to start afresh, so every couple of sessions we have a reprogramming session. Welcome to one of one. 

On Life

With the end of the year comes stock-taking. Of what I wanted to what eventually happened. What I let happen, helped happen, avoided, but still it happened, tried to fight but still eventually it happened. All of that not-so-fun stuff. While taking stock, you're faced with a lot of loss. I've lost so much this year it's making me not realize I've gained so much too. I hate when loss blinds us; it makes us feel like we have nothing to be grateful for. 

So when I take stock, I take extra care to dwell on those wins. I celebrate the things I have achieved and the new relationships I've made. It's why keeping diaries or gratitude journals are important (I don't have either of those. Why do you think I'm a newsletter writer? I don't journal, I newsletter).

With all that going on, I still have to plan for what next year will be like and omo,  I wan craze (when I get too emotional, I switch to a weird British accent or I speak a mix of pidgin and Yoruba).

It feels like where I want to be next year is too far from what I am this year. It seems like so much work and I don't think I can handle it. How many am I? It's so hard to feel all of the feelings and decide to work hard. I'm fatigued mentally and physically, but we thank God for the loves we have that hold us solid (I talk about love a lot because I genuinely believe that's what will save us. It's what keeps us going). 

In all this, I try to lean into the people that keep me going, remind myself that failing isn't the end of the world and that God will not give me a battle that's bigger than me to fight. 

On Music 

The following week after they stole my phone, I didn't listen to music. When I eventually connected to my Spotify and played music upstairs, I played Semilore by Lil Kesh and cried. Then I listened to Work of Art by Asake and cried some more. Only me fit know wetin my eye don see. 

On Books

I've read one book in the past month. It's called Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake. I needed romance (my favorite genre of anything is romance. I can watch or read anything as long as it has a major romance plot). When the romance is historical and overexaggerated, I eat it up. So I read this book and ate up every cliche.

Lemonade

When I initially got to this part, walahi, I didn't know what to put. What the hell is a lemonade? A refreshing beverage on a hot day or a situation that comes after you handle what life gives you? Is it a feeling or an action? 

But while I was wearing the bubu I took from a lover, in my grandma's kitchen helping her make sandwiches for her church guests and telling her stories of my outing the day before, I felt it. The knowledge that you have family that cares for you, a job that provides for you, friends that nourish you and a love that surrounds you. I thought to myself, “I think this will make a cool lemonade” and so I did. 

However you take it is yours. 

Thank you so much for having me, I hope had fun. I believe if you join hands with me to bully Zia, you'll see me more often. I hope the love keeps you till next time,

Love, Itohan!

Zia’s friends stop bullying her challenge failed. One day, one day, I will have my vindication.